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Giant Halloween 'gay vagina' dirigible freaks out Islamic State insurgents
Fertile Crescent, Syria - A 500ft Hindenberg-like inflatable drone shaped like the Queen of Halloween's punani has crossed into Islamic State airspace close to rebel-held territory of Mount Skrotomb. Insurgents immediately stopped bobbing for app...
Turkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border
The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...
President Obama comes out: 'I'm proud to be a Tranny
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama announced today that he is transgender, confirming what many Republicans have suspected for years. In his statement, he acknowledged that his original name was Blossom Obama. She had the sex change surgery a...
Chinese kid isn't good at math
A Chinese 5th grader at an elementary school in the Boston-area is apparently last in his class when it comes to math. The student, Chen Wu Zhang, was born in the United States, but his mother and father emigrated to the U.S. from China in 1999.
Pothead gets off couch, applies for job
Earlier this week, a Cleveland, OH pothead finally got up from his parent's couch, went out, and applied for a job. This according to the pothead's parents, who requested to remain anonymous due to embarrassment over having a pothead as a son.
Why You Should Vote for Chris Christie for President
Okay, I like Chris Christie. The main reason I like the guy is because he's big and fat, just like me. In a land that's filled with dysfunctional dipshit politics, is that such a bad reason? Am I being too shallow? Too trite? Too outrageous? And...
Tim Cook: Proud to be gay, not proud of iTunes
'discrimination against Windows is wrong!'Apple’s CEO has given his support to alternate sexualities but refused to endorse any music player that refuses to sync with other devices. A spokesman for the global corporation admitted: ‘We need to be tolerant of all MP3 players regardless of brand. As a market leader we need to be more accepting of others – even if Windows Media Player is a crime against nature’.
Internet to be deleted
Faced with overwhelming numbers of cat pictures and unchallenged pseudo-political rants in the form of blogs, the brains behind some of the biggest websites in the world have decided that enough is enough. They will delete everything from the Internet at the turn of the new year and require users to start again from scratch.
Marketing exec fired for Halloween ‘lack of imagination’
Don Price is the ex-Marketing Manager of The Norwich Broom Store today having lost his job for failing to cash in on the Halloween bonanza. While every other shop in town had managed to find a Halloween angle to boost sales, Price could not come up with anything.
Scream and Shout: Quint dives into the Halloween Box Set, Part 1: The Laurie Strode Films!

Ain't It Cool's Eric Vespe begins a series looking back at the sometimes frustrating, sometimes amazing Halloween series. Part 1 focuses on the films focused on Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis.

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Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with the latest Scream and Shout column. If you're new 'round these parts, Scream and Shout takes a detailed look at the Blu-Ray releases of Shout Factory and its horror arm Scream Factory.
This is going to be an unusual entry to the column. I just couldn't pass up the chance to dive through Scream Factory's massive Halloween Box Set and wanted to get started before Halloween has come and gone.

I'm not the first to marathon these films and I sure as hell won't be the last, but I figured someone out there might want to hear some of my rambling thoughts on this cornerstone horror franchise. This series more than just about any other modern horror franchise is unfocused, contradictory and fractured almost beyond repair... yet there's something to it that keeps us coming back.
I'll be breaking the series down in a little bit of a different way. It won't be chronological, but instead focused on the lead characters. With that, let's talk a little bit about...
Jamie Lee Curtis' Laurie Strode is one of the most famous “final girl”s in horror history, yet she's not as central to the franchise as you might remember.

Laurie was the first of her kind. She basically established the pure heroine in survival slasher films. When I say “pure” I don't mean Goody Twoshoes boring. Laurie smokes pot and talks about going out with boys. No, Laurie is just good-hearted. Her friends aren't bad people, but Laurie is

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